[Scene: a very small flat somewhere near the Cowley Road. A short girl with damp hair is writing about the ideological fragmentation of 1890s Shakespeare performance, which makes a change from teaching Harold Pinter and reading about Sarah Kane.]
This is a short post to say that I should like to go to Paris, now, and leave my various written commitments to, ah, dispose of themselves as they think best. I shall probably have to settle for a French lesson this afternoon.
It seems ridiculous not to be in Paris when Paris is still there. I suspect the vast majority of you reading this are also NOT IN PARIS. We could ALL be in Paris, and are managing our lives SO BADLY in not being so.
Just think, the French are at least in the same country as Paris. ALL the time. Except when they misguidedly go on holiday to places which aren’t Paris.
Stop reading this and book your tickets. Go quickly. Many of us could be there within HOURS.
[the curtain descends. DPhil student is heard to cry ‘PARIS!’ in manner of displaced Chekhovian not-Muscovite, as the lights fade.]
CLAMOROUS VOICE 
I feel your pain (not exactly, of course – what I mean is I sympathise on a human level with wanting to be somewhere less mundane than current circumstances dictate).
BUT, on the bright side, you will be in Paris at some point, no? Something psychologically healthy about having a happy place to aspire to? Was it an ancient Chinese philosopher, or David Gemmell (much-loved British fantasy author, R.I.P.), who proclaimed ‘May all your dreams-but one-come true’?
My own more modest goal is Britgrad 2013 – having been to Paris but not Stratford, I’m far more excited about finally touching ground at Will’s birthplace and presenting my little talk on Othello at Mason Croft. Proof that even us folks down in the Antipodes can, Les Mis style, rise up against geographical barricades. For you, may Paris come sooner than you can say ‘Je nez parlez-pas Francaise’ or something like that.
LikeLike
Hey! I’m sorry not to be going to Britgrad this year, it would have been fun to meet (and, also, remembering that I won’t be at Britgrad makes me feel guilty for my travel woes, because I’ll actually be in, um, Venice while Britgrad’s on. BUT ALSO FOR WORK), and the conference itself is always fabulous. I will, however, hopefully go to Paris at some point. Though, unfortunately, probably not in 2013 – can’t see myself managing more than one trip abroad, although there will be a couple of weddings (thus it begins) to attend…
LikeLike
Mais, considerez, ma petite crevette, cette soir nous irons vraiment a Paris. Avec le pimpernel écarlate lui-meme! (I can’t do a circonflex on this keyboard), et son manteau que susurre.
LikeLike
I have just had my French lesson. We did about forgiving your abuser and not letting yourself be caught up in household routines. Wise words. I have also realised exactly where my lovely tutor’s L1 interference is coming from, as all my French-English translations sound like pidgin.
LikeLike
LET’S GO TO PARIS.
(sometime)
LikeLike
Yessss.
LikeLike