Rape and anti-rape

Once again, I’d like to know why anti-rape advice focuses on women changing their behaviour, not men. I’m not saying that “don’t walk alone at night in unsafe places” isn’t advice that might stop SOME women being raped.

But if that advice is given – from schools up – I want it to be followed by the spoken phrase “because some men are absolute sick bastards”, not the unspoken “because if you do, you deserve it”.

Best way to stop women being raped by men? MEN: DON’T RAPE WOMEN. If men STOP RAPING WOMEN, there will be no women BEING RAPED BY MEN. Essentially, women are raped because SOME MEN CHOOSE TO RAPE THEM. Not because of short skirts or routes home.

We have to be careful what we wear and where we go, not because there’s anything inherently or morally wrong with certain clothes or certain addresses, for god’s sake. We have to be careful because of some men being rapists. PLENTY OF MEN are not. However, NO WOMEN deserve to be raped.

Again, MEN: DON’T RAPE WOMEN. The best and indeed ONLY piece of anti-rape advice which, IF FOLLOWED, is GUARANTEED to reduce rape-against-women figures to almost nothing. INDEED, following this advice makes a dramatic drop in rape figures LITERALLY INEVITABLE.

Anyway, as you were.

4 thoughts on “Rape and anti-rape

  1. Laura

    Do you follow @DMReporter on twitter? I am sadly pretty convinced that this is how a lot of people in power REALLY DO think.


  2. Pete

    In support of what you’re saying, from a different tack, no-one ever suggests that MALE victims of rape are to blame because of what they’re wearing, where they were walking etc….


  3. Regular Reader (f)

    Oh, come on. Stop being naive about this. Of course advice focuses on the victim.

    You might equally say, ‘Best way to stop being mugged? Thieves: don’t mug people.’ It doesn’t get us anywhere, and you know it. Of course, in an ideal world, no one would be robbed. We don’t, so there are some obvious bits of advice to follow to avoid either pernicious aggression.

    There’s nothing ‘inherently or morally wrong’ with carrying £2000 on display in your back pocket – and no one deserves to have their legitimate money stolen – but there are nasty people out there who do nasty things. Are you suggesting there are some crimes which ordinary people DO deserve?

    Indeed, why do you perceive rape as different to any other crime? It’s always going to exist, we are always at risk and we do well to minimize those risks with sensitive, non-invasive precautions. Isn’t it obvious?

    For someone so eloquent to write such a post as this makes me wonder what has triggered you to be so angry?

    [I almost felt I could get away without a disclaimer saying I acknowledge the severity or rape and am in no way equating it with having your student loan nicked if you are stupid enough to carry it in cash but something tells me I better offer it just in case.]


  4. Sheenagh

    Why so angry? After all, it’s not as though the Justice Minister is (on the very kindest interpretation) unsure of the law in this area and can’t be arsed to check his facts before he speaks, or as though another MP (given far too much unopposed airtime) thinks that there’d be less sexual abuse if girls got a bit better at saying ‘no’. (Hint to Nadine Dorries: if they don’t want it, it’s rape/sexual assault and saying ‘no’ won’t help them; if they’re not saying ‘no’ because they want to have sex, then it’s not assault.)

    I think you should moderate your tone on your personal blog. If you discussed this in a calm and reasonable manner, people might listen to you.

    Advice on avoiding rape makes me so cross. It encourages women to treat all men as potential rapists (don’t let them buy you a drink! don’t walk home with them! run away if you see one in a park at night! don’t get in a cab with one! don’t get in a cab driven by one! don’t wear a short skirt near them! or a low-cut top!) and then the very same people wail and scream about feminazis being mean the poor menz and accusing them all of being potential rapists.



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