I still have swine flu. I am coughing and aching (EVERY JOINT. Apparently flu’s a generational thing on which we chillens missed out, although Katie’s had it and she’s only 25) and falling asleep at things. I am also simmering with resentment about how it is AUGUST, and GOOD WEATHER, and yet instead of the following —

• being at the Fringe
• earning money
• travelling to distant lands and making an hilarious blog (English really needs ‘y’) about my time there, subsequently landing myself a book deal
• writing a slim volume of something extraordinary
• reading fat volumes of something(s) extraordinary(yies)
• touring in a play
• learning Welsh (my new LIFE PLAN, after ‘teaching deaf children’ and ‘photography’)

I am restricted to doing the following —

• Watching all of Criminal Minds (note: this was nearly stopped this morning when my internet died. I spent half an hour composing impassioned posts about how it was wrong of the internet to stop when it is basically MY LIFELINE, then the internet came back on and I realised what an arse I was being),
• Reading all of Achewood — I don’t even know. It’s not funny. It’s not clever. It’s certainly not attractive and yet I read at least two years’ worth yesterday. This despite the fact I can’t follow normal text unless it’s
• Good Moon Rising, which is both AWESOME and DREADFUL and I so wish I’d read it at fifteen. Though it might have given me unreasonable expectations (it’s a gay, American Noel Streatfeild wherein nobody dies). Also I fell asleep midway through.
• Falling asleep at my friends (do you see a theme?), and/or sending them emails which basically convey ‘bring me icecream’, and follow-up emails, ‘why isn’t the ice-cream here yet?’, and
• Coughing. All the sodding time.

Crucially, I can only do the above in ten-minute bursts (well, except sleeping and watching CM) before exhaustion hits and I want to upchuck again (I am not actually upchucking). I now have no discernable interests except Criminal Minds and my own health. Can I say Criminal Minds some more? Criminal Minds. Criminal Minds. Criminal Minds.

I did make a blog for my photography, though (just slipping that one in). It’s here. I stole the title from a song recommended by somebody with better musical taste than me (possibilities: all). If you are my friend I will probably put your picture on there. I apologise in advance.

oxford areyouaspyoranartist photography swine flu television