Noted twerp John Maples, Tory MP for my own dear town of Stratford-upon-Avon (home to the world’s angriest local newspaper), has had to apologise for having inadvertently conveyed the impression that Tories don’t care about victims of the recession. Noted twerp John Maples assures us that he did not mean it, because obviously the Tories care lots and lots and lots about all those bankers no longer able to spend £16K on school fees (NB average UK annual salary £26,000), the Notting Hill wives who’ve had to dispense with the dogwalker, the inconvenienced CEOs and the rest of the people Tories naturally represent. Maples now distances himself from the view that ‘the recession will have to take its course’.
In 1998, he voted against making the age of consent the same for gay and straight sex. Between 1998 and 2007, of fifteen possible votes on gay rights, Maples was absent for eleven of the votes, and voted against increasing gay rights on the four occasions he actually turned up
. He voted against allowing unmarried heterosexual couples & gay couples to adopt. He has never taken part in a single vote on environmental issues to stop climate change. NEVER
. Where was he?
He voted very strongly for the Iraq war (on the two of six votes he actually attended), wants to replace Trident and voted strongly against the hunting ban (actually managing to attend seven out of seven votes in 2002-3). Decent? This bigot? His attendance record is appalling
– well below average (60% of votes since May 2005, only 53% between June 2001-Apr 2005).
I hate him. I absolutely hate him. He has been my MP for as long as I’ve been old enough to care about the fact, and it depresses me more than I can say. This is the first bit of joy he’s ever brought me – by making the Tories look stupid, and giving Labour some badly-needed room to manoeuvre.
Dr Sophie Duncan is Fellow in English at Christ Church, University of Oxford. She works regularly as a historical advisor and as a dramaturg for theatre, TV, radio and film. She likes theatre, detective fiction and cocktails.